Gazza: Is this special funds for a special player?

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Churchill said about Russia in a radio broadcast in 1939, “I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key”

If you substitute the word Russia for Paul Gascoigne you will not be far wrong. But the phrase “but perhaps there is a key” is a debatable one, this instance.

If dealing with the disease of alcoholism or mental illness, which are often cohabiters’ of the person concerned, there is no simple key, which will unlock the devastatingly destructive behaviours and allow the individual to recover. It is without doubt a disease of denial, something that tells you whilst you are doing it that it is the answer, the crutch, the only thing that maintains some resemblance of balanced mental health.

An intolerable battle

I just thought that if I didn’t drink then things would be ok, and admittedly that is the start. But if you take away the drug which at a level helped, it has to be replaced with an alternative. Otherwise, like me, you’ll walk around like a bomb waiting to fuse. A dry drunk. A drunk who doesn’t drink but writhes and seethes, battles with true sober feelings and emotions, a person on the edge because as destructive as it was, the drug helped to keep some of the madness in the head at bay.

Unmedicated with alcohol, the volcano starts to erupt, gently at first and then it becomes an enduring flow of unstoppable lava.

It took me many years of getting support and help, much of it provided by The PFA, for me to realise that I could not beat this opponent. I am a winner, highly competitive, very proud and have battled the world since my teenage years. Nothing could beat me if I worked and focused hard enough. Nothing that is, but alcohol.

Acknowledging the issue

I first started working with Peter Kay when I was twenty-two and I was in trouble. I did not feel the problem was alcohol. It was fucking life. Peter never lost faith in me, suggesting but not telling me. Getting me to use my brain and read, engage in debate about achievement and the psychology of men. But the day that things changed for me was as a result of several more “anger” incidents where alcohol had been the catalyst. It was only when I accepted my condition, my need for support and the horrendous realisation that I had to ask for help and could not do it alone. Only then did this scared, frightened but arrogant man become teachable.

Wrongful assumptions

Paul Gascoigne is currently at the jumping off place. He cannot live with a drink but cannot see life without it.

Fact. The PFA have funded nearly half a dozen treatments and detox for Paul over the years. They have been paying his rent for several years, quietly and without fanfare. They’ve provided the very best psychotherapists and psychiatrists. He went to the same clinic as me, The Sporting Chance, whilst being mentored and supported by the then Chief Exec Peter Kay. He left a month later drug and alcohol free.

He has been diagnosed with everything down the years from bi polar to post traumatic stress disorder. At one stage he was believed to have been on 13 different drugs, many of which would have left him comatose.

Maybe the loud voices calling for financial support towards Paul should learn a little more before berating those organisations within football for apparently not supporting sufficiently. I am informed, because I took the trouble to learn and find out that most top professionals in the field would not have advocated further treatment at this stage. Arizona is a nice place to be this time of the year, but what has changed? What will change?

Egotistical movements

Several players have publicly given to the PG fund merely to appease their conscience, if, tragically Paul did not make it. If nothing changes then nothing fucking changes. If Paul wants help then that is a different story, but the George Best story is too similar. Paul is in love with GAZZA. In The SCC, I know that people where not allowed to call him Gazza and he not allowed to refer to himself by the name. Both seem to have also been addicted to fame.

I have been told that Paul, only accepted to go to treatment this time if the country he would rehab in, was of a good climate, so as he could get a ‘good tan’. I was staggered when I was told this.

The treatment centre in Arizona will be delighted with the £30,000 that will be coming their way via the very public money raised, but what on earth are the PFA to do when a lesser known player comes forward looking for help? It sets a precedent. Is the PFA going to keep signing these cheques because Gary Mabbut goes on Sky Sports news?

Are the newspapers going to fund rehab for everyone they have every written about?

Are the players who so public ally stepped forward with cash offerings, going to do so the next time a player has an issue?

Remember too, the PFA helped fund The Sporting Chance when Tony Adams opened it in 2000.

I am not the biggest fan of Gordon Taylor and in the last few months, have been critical of him personally. The one thing I am not able to criticise however is the organisation itself.

The GT issue with me, is just that between me and him. To be fair to Gordon the welfare of his members is paramount to him, he seeks advice from experts like Peter Kay to ascertain the best way forward for each individual. I am not talking about giving up on Paul, luckily for me a few people never gave up on me for which I am eternally grateful. Without any doubt, I would not be playing professionally today, enjoying life, living sober with a good partner, becoming a better man and father.

But tough love is a better approach; let Paul start to take actions himself with the hands of support around him. Let’s not rely on special funds because he was a special player it sets a dangerous, unsustainable precedent.

Offer Paul a choice. If he agrees full support, full support should be offered. If not, stop paying his rent and funding his lifestyle.

 

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94 comments
mcfinlay
mcfinlay

Sadly you're right Joey. .change must come from within.Gazza's like a broken African state or a benefit junkie. He has to grow a pair and claim back his self respect. That takes self discipline and backbone. He has neither. He will continue to drain the resources of others until he dies.

footyfan
footyfan

I agree, to a certain extent.  I do think it is time that Paul begins to take responsibility for his actions.  He is an adult and his fall from grace was very much, of his own making.  I thought he was an exceptional talent, but like many before, and since, he started to think that he was reproach because of the adulation he received.  I've worked with many alcoholics and it is said that the only time they will accept help is when they reach rock bottom.  Well, Paul reached this point a long time ago but continues to rely on others rather than acknowledging HIS PART in his demise.  Time to grow up methinks and grow a pair!

manxpie86
manxpie86

and you say "Several players have publicly given to the PG fund merely to appease their conscience, if, tragically Paul did not make it."!!

some of these people know, love and respect him and have known him for a very long time!

what do you expect them to do? spend every second with him?

he's an alcoholic!!

i'm sure his friends and family have gone blue in the face countless times to try and help him!, but he's deep in the disease!

so for you too dismiss this help from fellow professionals as "just too appease there conscience"  is pretty disgraceful really!!

 

manxpie86
manxpie86

isn't this just a massive contradiction to what you accused gary lineker and such of doing? , without the financial support??

Donachn
Donachn

Great article by the way. I have just lost a good friend to alcoholism aged 44. He got pneumonia and his organs were shot slipped into a coma and died within a day. My concern with gazza is that he has been in and out of rehab over the years. Surely he must have asked for help each time he was admitted so why is this time going to be any different. I am a Geordie and he was my hero growing up but surely there is only so much help you can give someone......wish my friend had a tenth of the help gazza has had you never know he might still be with us.

Omariqy
Omariqy

Really informative and interesting article Joey.  I am beginning an initiative focusing on financial education and planning for players.  Educating players on how to handle their money and plan appropriately for life after sport.  My twitter handle is @omariqy and I would really appreciate a follow as any insight from you would be invaluable to me. 

tomblackburn1
tomblackburn1

brilliant mr barton- job as columnist when you retire!

Joey B
Joey B

Thanks for all the comments. What has been interesting has been the sentiment. The majority of people see the situation the way I do. Alcoholism is a disease that effects a lot of people, whether its the addict themselves or those that are close to them. In the UK, its our ident to remember are culture. Everything we do is built around drink. If someone is born, the first thing to do is wet the baby's head. If someone dies, we drink at their funeral. If someone gets a new job? Few bevvies. Or loses a job? Few bevvies. It's in everything we do, every festival we celebrate. It's become such a part of our English lifestyle that to sit in the house and not drink on a weekend whilst watching TV is considered strange. This is why it can be hard to shake this illness for a lot of people. Those who are not fortunate enough to be able to be taken out of their 'normal' situation and go into rehab in another country. The true test for Gazza, I believe comes in the next few months. The months, that he is no longer in a controlled environment. I am going to write a piece this week about how or what he may face, when he returns for Arizona, hopefully sober. Thanks again for the comments. I really enjoy reading them all. Good and the bad. I have decided that because I couldn't reply to everyone. I would reply to all.

RoryStafford
RoryStafford

Great article Joey. As someone who saw Gazza playing for NUFC at the start of his carreer I can see why so many people want to help the man, but, from my own experiance of trouble with alcohol and the recovery community I can appreciate your point of view.

 

I really think Paul has been pampered and mollycoddled all his adult life and wish he would take personal responsibility for his life and recovery. Like you said, he's at the jumping off point.

 

Rory

ShaunOD
ShaunOD

The inevitable outcome for Paul Gaiscoigne is that he will die as a result of his addiction and all the help and good will in the world won’t save him as he has been unable to help himself. Regardless of him being a good footballer, a father and someone’s son the long and the short of it is if you don’t stop feeding the addiction the outcome is death or a wet brain. I wish him well but I doubt there will be a happy ending to all this.

realistichuman
realistichuman

It is only down to the individual, they could have the best counsellor/ key-worker in the world. Unless the individual wants to get better then there will always be a battle of the two minds.

wexman69
wexman69

I agree with your comments but with soccer as with life exemptions are made for so called talented people

Hypnochickuk
Hypnochickuk

Well-written insight by someone who knows what he's talking about (did I ever think I'd say that about Joey Barton??). However, you also need to look at things from the perspective of someone who has the misfortune to love an alcoholic or drug addict, whether as parent, partner, son/daughter or very close friend. They are the real victims. And they feel a terrible heart-wrenching sense of helplessness. So they try to offer solutions and help. I have friends who have shown their sons 'kind love' only for the sons to die as a result of drug abuse. I have a friend who showed his son 'tough love' only for the lad to end up in prison again and again. So Joey, please consider that those who love an addict suffer beyond belief and clutch at straws in trying to help with solution after solution just to try and keep their loved-one alive. Think how you would handle things if god-forbid your child turned to drugs- would you have a simple solution? Would you leave them to hit rock bottom and sort themselves out?

joe_da_bearhug
joe_da_bearhug

As with any addiction the most important factor is the addict wanting to quit, I agree there is no point giving Paul the lifestyle that he craves and drags him in to his torment. Your blog, is well written and candidly honest. Thank you for the insight to the work the FA do, I will take a second before criticising them in future.

Ljgrainge
Ljgrainge

Excellent blog written brilliantly but more than that the sentiments are correct. I listened with interest to your "debate" on the subject with Piers Morgan via Twitter and agreed wholeheartedly. Paul needs to be in a place to help himself under any conditions and I fear he is not there and may never be. As for the "celebrities" that funded him to go, maybe a few were well meaning but for others I think it was totally inappropriate PR. Well done Joey for speaking the truth.

wizy
wizy

I read the article that greaves wrote last week and although I felt it was a tad harsh, I also knew it was also bang on – But what you've said perfectly smoothes the ruff corners of the same facts – knowledgable, insightful and truthful – whether we like it or not!

 

Personally, right now  I'm in a very dark hole, I'm shit scared and frightened, I know what the end game is if I carry on the way I am – I have yo-yo'd for 20 years from being a casual 'recreational' drug user to being a fully blown, out of control coke head that also drinks in a day what doctors say you should spread over 2 weeks.

 

2 years ago when I'd descended to a similar depth as I now find myself again I was lucky enough to have a brother that bought me a plane ticket to Sydney where he lived and gave me food, board and pocket money for 6 months – He thought I just needed to get out of London, I never fully confessed to how big my problem was as I fully embraced the opportunity – I was clean every day (had several opportunities to score) and thew myself into a fitness program (I am about 17 stone) and was eventually swimming 1k 4 times a week and doing about 20 hours a week of exercise (in my final week I completed a full triathlon – OK, I only walked the 10k but did swim the 1k and did 20k on a spin bike – it took about 3.5 hours, but I did it! lol)

 

Whats scaring me most is the shame I feel, I don't have much family or many real friends to turn too and the few I do (including my brother) I know just don't have the ability to help me and so I don't want to burden them with any guilt for not being able to do so, its a big ask the help I need.

 

I suppose I'm arrogant for not seeking any help from my GP but I'm terrified that it will be all recorded and as I work as a designer in the corporate sector they always demand access to your medical records as part of the recruitment process. My Job, what I do, is the only real thing I have left and am any good at. I'm 40, I lodge in a spare room, have no relationships or responsibilities, I don't have anything to be proud about except my talent as a designer and am terrified about losing that.

 

So why have I written all this boo hoo shit? well I suppose I connected with what you said, I also respect your straight shooting attitude to life. I think I also just had to spew it out in an anonymous way, I've been desperate to turn to somebody for weeks, I know I'm fucked and I know I need help but just don't know who or how too or where to start.

 

Any thoughts or advice for where or what an ordinary joe can go that is ready, wanting and needing some help?

rpwin
rpwin

Huge respect to you and your sentiments. ignorance is a terrible thing-I had no idea of your stuff and respect you for sharing that with many people who did not know that about you (something which is very private) BUT most importantly you unlike most do understand what Gazza is suffering with and we should listen and learn. 

Joffey
Joffey

Great blog post. I totally agree with your sentiments.

T6Bird
T6Bird

Paul gets special treatment because he is a special person. Exactly the same as you do because you are also in the public eye. A fascinating read though and I agree with you that Paul should have all the help in the world (as should anyone in need) if they accept and realise they have a problem. At some point to get better he needs to stand on his own two feet and take responsibility for himself but I fear he will never be in a position due to his illness to do this. Q) does it surprise you that with most of the flack and abuse you get from your comments on this subject it appears that very few of these people have actually read what you have to say?

Linda Kennedy
Linda Kennedy

I was very grateful for finding a 12 step programme when my mam was diagnosed with this horrendous dis ease over 4yrs ago. I'm not sure where I'd of been if I hadn't as my mam died from this illness on 28/05/12. A bridge to normal living. How does someone like PG or anyone else in the spotlight get help when not only do you have an illness that you have to convince yourself you have and having "yes men/women" surrounding you telling you that "your ok, don't be daft" seems to me that PG hasn't had enough misery...yet....my fear for him, just like my mam....maybe it's too late..? Take care and good luck with your recovery.xx

lornac
lornac

You are so right. He needs the 12 step program but it looks like he may never get the chance to be desperate enough to realise it for himself. If people truly want to help they should look into how enabling is basically killing someone with kindness. This kindness is often dangerous to an alcoholic. I sincerely hope he gets what he needs.

pollitix
pollitix

I think it's always dangerous to try to out theorise the experts and JB is probably far more of an expert on all of this than me. One aspect though for PG was his very difficult childhood where the seeds of mental health issues and alcoholism were probably sown as much as anything in later life.

 

JB says here his problems started in his teenage years. I would bet that they probably started from the day he was born. By the time we are teenagers most of our behaviour has been so well learnt that all we can do is to moderate it not fundamentally change it.

 

If you read Jimmy Greave's article in the People alongside this article there is probably very little to add other than, according to JG, the people around PG don't see a problem with PG having a drink as long as it doesn't interfere with his money activities....

 

This is probably because many of the people around PG also don't understand his illness or suffer from alcohol and mental health issues themselves. It is very difficult for Gazza to dump his life long friends and family but unless they can be part of the solution they are probably part of the problem.

 

I would like to hear from JB what the specific next steps he feels that PG should take?

Addisman90
Addisman90

Are players spoken to regarding their career will not last forever and to prepare for that day from the start. I suppose its a case of trying to discover what they have missed out on with the years of saturday or sunday matches. Hence the reason so many retired footballer marriages hit the skids.

jonny2222
jonny2222

i am not usually in agreement with joey ,i might  that add that he both facinates and irritates me in equal measures,but on this subject he is very well qualified . i am for once in total agreement with joey,i am a 53 year old groundworker on 22 grand a year i have had a heart attack followed by a triple heart bypass caused by my addiction to smoking .i no longer smoke i work hard to provide for my family.i think paul was a very good footballer but as joey says where will it end .the buck stops with paul he must try to help himself with the support on offer ,respect for mr barton a great blog this time.

WB1972
WB1972

Really interesting article. I am reading a book at the moment which explains about "paradigm"- the lense through which you see the world and how it is beneficial to shift your paradigm. This article really highlights that it is a true talent and benefit to see things from a different angle. I once would have had my opinionated viewpoint. However now, I agree with you, the support must be there but the individual must have the desire to go and seek it and the want to beat the illness. I have been a massive fan of Gazza the footballer, one of the best British talents to play the game. But this is about PG the man. I think his life would have turned out the same if was a postman, bricklayer or unemployed. The difference being the lack of funds to support his habit and lack of friends to fund his rehab (if he were a brickie). I give some of the donators the benefit of the doubt and trust they are providing funds due to genuine affection for PG. But what of the other thousands do addicts that didn't play football for England. Who is funding them? Hope PG has the desire and commitment to pull through.

hutchy7
hutchy7

very well said!! we all love paul gascoigne, for the talent he was and the joy he brought to many many fans. never played for the club i support, but he played for my country, and brought me joy that way. there is not 1 word wrong with what joey barton has said. if anything its the best thing anybody has written about this situation with gascoigne, you can chuck as much money as you want at helping him, but if he isnt as determined as all the people contributing the money to make him better, then the contributions towards him are pointless, i want the best for gazza as much as anybody else. butbas joey said, he needs to want the help n be more determined then anybody else. ... great read joey n very true, i hope alot of people have grown alot more respect for you!! #GETWELLGAZZA #PRAYFORGAZZA

CassiusB
CassiusB

Who gives a shit about the reasons, a man needs help and he is getting it. Whether this is all beneficial to him in the long run is irrelivant. The question should be, why does joey barton have to have an opinion about everything. Or more to the point, why does he feel the need to express his every opinion.

jambonprout
jambonprout

The only thing that should be 'blamed' if you can blame anyone, is the sport of football itself. For a footballer, the end of their career is going to be a terrifying thing. What do they do with all this free time they now have? unfortunatly, in football, there doesn't seem to be anyway, a structure in place, to help players through the retirement phase of their career, to help them come up with a plan of what they are going to do now they are no longer players. To often you hear stories of ex players going of the rails, Paul being one of them, if just seems if there was a system in place, say a sport psychologist or psychiatrist in place at football clubs, to help players through retirement, we would be seeing less cases like this. The same problem occurs in academies when players don't make the grade and are released by clubs at a young age, no qualifcations and no job, you hear to often of youngsters turning to drugs of crime, due to the situation they are put in by football. Football is a great sport, but often it slings people to the way side without a thought for their well being

Kempo05
Kempo05

Paul will always be one of the greatest English footballers of all time and countless times I have thought he had turned his life around. Unfortunately at some point there is no more you can help someone. I'm not say give up on Gazza cause I would never want to see that happen, he just seems almost a helpless case. Really tough issue this. The following comment sums it up. #prayforgazza

Sloughbhoy
Sloughbhoy

Firstly, I have never been addicted to drink so may not have an extremely accurate point here, but let's look at the facts. The guy has been an alcoholic for years, without doubt though it seems as though he is on the edge right this minute. What really astounds me however is the fact that everybody is coming out saying "get well soon Gazza" when at the end of the day, the guy got himself in this mess and has obviously thrown back numerous attempts from loved ones to get his life back on track, cos let's face it, the guy has been an Alcoholic for a fair few years. Im sorry but I really struggle to feel sorry for him at all. The guy is extremely lucky that he had a career and earned a few quid, as you are a Liverpudlian, lets ask ourselves how does a working class guy who is an alcoholic  from let's say Toxteth stand a chance of winning this battle without the finances to go to a clinic in Arizona. Many people in the same predicament would crave the chances that he has had and all these squeaky clean geezers like Lineker coming out publicly supporting him financially does not change the matter at all, in my opinion, it further proves my point that he is a selfish bloke relying on others to sort him out even though they have been trying to do it for years. The difference between him and you is that despite probable great help from loved ones, you're the guy that has to do the hard grafting to get out of it. The people I feel sorry for is his loved ones, not him. As a Celtic fan I then hear today Rangers are planning a friendly with Newcastle to help raise funds for him. Good luck with that, invite him along and let him do the flute gesture like he did so many years ago, im sure that would be money well spent for Rangers fans to see, they may even double there donations.

Joob7719
Joob7719

Agree with this totally. You can throw all this cash in to try and help PG but ultimately it will not help unless he demonstrates the determination and will power to beat his demons once and for all - just as you have done.

uhhwat
uhhwat

This is an amazingly designed mobile site. Whoever you picked for your web designer, consider giving him a tip or something. Nice article too, btw.

Broony_1984
Broony_1984

Having a sister who is addicted to alcohol I have learned that this is an illness that these people are born with, not being addicted to alcohol obviously but having an addictive personality. The only people who can save themselves from addictions are the addicts themselves and no one else. Obviously having the support of friends and family which Gazza seems to have aswell is a great help to addicts as over coming an addiction is the hardest thing these people will do. My main concern like with George Best is the fact that Gazza doesnt seem to want to help himself, truthfully. Yes he comes out and speaks about it in the papers etc but deep down this once great man doesnt want to help himself, which is a sad state of affairs. Gazza is living of his former glories and a lot of the stories, achievements were legendary but it seems like instead of moving on with his life he has succumbed to deep, dark, internal thoughts about the past and is using them as his excuse to "have a drink" I could speak all night about the tragedy that alcoholism has brought to mine and many more families but I would just like to end here by wishing Gazza all the best in his fight. Hopefully he can find some form of happiness to allow him to continue but I dont think this will be the case. Get well soon Paul. Mark

paul_ftm
paul_ftm

Any addict can only be helped at the point when they say to themselves "this is not going to beat me". You can have all the medication, rehab and counselling in the world but it will ne fruitless until that point is reached.

 

I do think it's a little rich for Joey Barton to be taking the moral high ground on this point. I wonder what his views are on controlling violence and whether he would give up on his racist convicted murderer brother so quickly.

beech united
beech united

A great honest blog. I doubt a lot of people realise how much has already been done to try to help him, I don't agree with previous comments that you can blame Hoddle I think that it was an already underlying problem and Hoddle did what was best for the team. Don't give up on him though, he's still a human being, one that just needs the proper help and guidance.

AbbeyMacfarlane
AbbeyMacfarlane

Agree with you 100%! At the end of the day it's up to gazza to ask for the money, not for him to be treated like a charity case! love your blogs!

chelsea66
chelsea66

Glenn Hoddle must take some blame. When he dropped him from the 98' World Cup squad that was when he really started to hit the bottle, BIG time. Hang your head in shame Hoddle............Good luck in your rehad Gazza.

james melvin
james melvin

Gazza has to face the underlying reasons about why he is an alcholic. What has he not got in life? how can he fill the massive void which not playing football has left him ? ive always felt that footballers need a secondary career after football unfortunately for Gazza he isnt as intelligent or articulate as someone like Lineker ( not that am a fan of him) and he could have had a good career as a football pundit but now hes really seen as a clown and will turn up at anything to either recieve money or praise. he needs to sort himself out with supports from the real friends in his life.

wizy
wizy

 @Joey B How do you sift the wheat from the chaff in terms of replies/comments?How involved do you get in this process?

footyfan
footyfan

 @wizy Stop beating yourself up so much! None of us are perfect, no matter how much we think we may be.  Everyone over the age of about 30 has skeletons in their cupboard which, they are not particularly proud of.  You are not arrogant at all regarding your GP.  Lots of us professionals have been loathe to be completely honest with GP's for the exact same reason.  Believe me, I know!  You say you were clean everyday but where are you at now? At least you didn't take the piss when your (obviously lovely) brother gave you help. Are you staying clean? Are you still drinking and using?  Because, if not, you are doing remarkably well. If you have reverted to your previous behaviour, then to a degree, I understand.  You're 40, with a decent job, by the sounds of it but you've frittered your income enjoying yourself.  It took me a while to realise none of us can be 18 forever.  What do you want?  If you lodge in someone's spare room, set yourself the target of renting your own place within a certain time period or, if your present accommodation is cheap, do what I did.  Open a savings account with a passbook so that every time you pay something in, no matter how small, you have physical evidence of your resolve and achievement, until eventually you have a deposit to buy.  If you reach that target, get a place to 'do-up'. I moved to a house with 3 glasses, 2 blankets, 3 chairs which made a make shift bed and a cheese knife, grapefruit parer and butter knife set. (And my stereo and LP's, most importantly) I decorated one room at a time using all spare income to buy materials and household necessities. Any spare time was spent scouring local charity shops, private sales adverts and car boot sales for items to equip and furnish my house.  Make sure all your bills are taken from your account the day after payday so you know what you have to play with each month.  Factor in, at least one night out each week even if it's for 4 pints and a pub quiz so you still have some social contact.  Unfortunately, I eventually lost everything by marrying a violent man and I had to start again but at least, I had a template for starting again.   Just remember, one step at a time; baby steps; DO NOT set yourself up to fail by expecting to achieve everything tomorrow.  Believe me, the sense of achievement you get will be amazing and wouldn't it be nice to invite your brother over to see your new place!  Let me know how you get on and good luck, fella.  You've taken the first step by recognising that something needs to change.

james melvin
james melvin

 @wizyId say it is important you tell your brother. He seems like a good support for you. Secondly i think you can contact a self group ? AA or Drugs one as they have really good supports for people like yourself. But you really need to want the help to make it happen. You may not have reached your lowest point as yet? I think that is when people decide that its enough for them. However some dont . Good luck James

RobbieBeaz
RobbieBeaz

@CassiusB you are reading a blog and then complaining about the blogger having an opinion?????? (And on his personal web page) Can I suggest something.......?? DON'T READ THE BLOG!!!!!! #spoon

BleboMassive
BleboMassive

@jambonprout there is no support for leaving any job only difference is footballers get to do it 30 years earlier than most, it's everyone's duty to live their own life without having to have be hand held, unfortunately some folks have an illness but until they actually want the help no matter what's thrown at then is futile

JamesDavidBartlett
JamesDavidBartlett

 @chelsea66 That is just stupid, a manager can not pick a player just incase they are not mentally stable enough to accept not being picked. Hoddle, right or wrong didnt think the drunk was good for his squad, that is his decision to make, and it should be made for the best result of the squad not an individual player!

james melvin
james melvin

 @footyfan  @wizy

 Good response footyfan. Like u i wasnt clear about wizy current situation? wizy are u still using ? I think the advice about getting yourself your own flat ( renting or buying) is great. it gives u a focus and also a distraction. I note that your brother seems to be a great support. so utilise this too. As footyfan said your 40 so time to reflect and work out what u want from the rest of your life. Im 46 and now realising that i cant party every week. i can now be content with staying in on a  satursday night.. best wishes for the future

CassiusB
CassiusB

@RobbieBeaz i follow joey on twitter so i know his opinion on this matter. I dont need to read the blog, so basically all i done was follow the link he left. In any case joey is a big boy, hes looking for feed back and unlike you i feel he wont be hugely offended if someone says something which maybe questions joey himself.

jambonprout
jambonprout

 @BleboMassive  I'm not here to argue, but there is an inherent difference, retiring from a sport, compared to any day to day job. You are right, people shouldn't need their hand held, but maybe we should be putting things in place, at the source, before they get the illness per say, then waiting till they have it. If you see where I am coming from

footyfan
footyfan

 @james melvin  @footyfan  @wizy Staying home on Saturday nights is not so bad if youhave your own place to which you can invite friends.  There's also MOTD to watch and maybe wizy could try an online course to improve his, clearly promising, job prospects.  Filling in your time is the most important thing, when trying to avert your thoughts from other matter.

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